Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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