can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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