I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
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I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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