We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
