Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
