It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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