I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
