and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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