The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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