Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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