those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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