I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
