evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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