I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
