You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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