Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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