Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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