I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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