Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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