I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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