K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize