Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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