If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
