it wasn't lemon gatorade
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
