if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
