You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
