New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
