If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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