He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
