just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This is not my ceiling
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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