in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
