I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Who died my cat blue again?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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