Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
