I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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