i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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