My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
