I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
