Don't you send me to vm
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i came on her dog
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
