I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
