To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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