I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
