Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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