glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
