You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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