He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
50% drunk capacity currently
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
