is your mom at the bar?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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