i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
People in love make me want to vomit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
