You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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