she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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