my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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