i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just google imaged poop.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
