Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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