This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
