HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
