i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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