I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
