he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.