super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.