reminds me of losing my job
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.