I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize